40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 7, 2025)

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  • 01
    JC @jordancortez_ You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work 10:40 AM 5/29/25 -5.2M Views 306 115K 143K ☐ 4K ↑
  • 02
    Hunter @y2khunter his head too square he'd be in dat mask looking like a funko pop dwayne * @justlifeinnit - 12h Is it just me or wouldn't Joe Keery have been a good Peter Parker/Spider-Man? 10:07 AM 5/29/25 4.9M Views 505 17 6.6K 132K ☐ 2.7K 企
  • 03
    F deedee megadoodoo @givemebudlight bf got back from mexico and told me the local guys were calling him a 'Torta Pounder' because he ate so many tortas and i had to break the news to him that they were making fun of him Last edited 11:09 AM 6/1/25 .866K Views 14 17379 26K ☐ 1.3K ↑
  • 04
    tweet davidson @andykreed when people turn 30 they're sorted into one of these four houses like in harry potter Running Grad School Japan Pickleball 6:51 PM 5/30/25 1.9M Views . 214 17 4.5K @andyleced 65K 5.3K ↑
  • 05
    rue yi @ruebytwo I'm moots with a sculptor he is so hilarious I attached this chair leg to a tree over the winter wondering if the tree would remember it and grow 5:14 PM 5/28/25.2M Views • 84 17 7.8K Nothing has happened 194K 7K ↑
  • 06
    mr. goodnightale @gn2ale we really took the pregenerative Al times for granted Our Food Speaks For Itself Hello 3:45 PM 5/28/25 4.6M Views 28 2.5K 59K 1.5K ↑
  • 07
    rea4 @FOURMULA1 no i'm in a very different tax bracket McLaren @McLaren F1.1d Have you ever wondered how you get an F1 car onto a yacht before? #McLaren | #M7AReborn | @OKX BARBAR 1:25 PM 5/28/25.4.2M Views
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    brian @brianonhere theres a woman i see on hinge whenever i'm single and on that app. every time around, she sends me a message, we make plans, she bails at the last minute, she deletes her account, we see each other again months or years later, rinse, repeat. we're growing old together, in a way 4:45 PM 5/27/25 2.2M Views 219 12.8K 120K 3.2K 企
  • 09
    John Slaughter, Esq. @JSlaughterEsq On the way to work and my wife calls. *Answer the phone* It's my 5 year old. "Dad what's your favorite turtle?" Me: "Alligator Snapping Turtle." Son: "okay." *click* Last edited 9:21 AM 5/28/25 1.5M Views 260 1.3K 80K 1.9
  • 10
    megs" @megsxzum wasn't planning on drinking tonight but man Know Your Know Your Meme Meme @knowyourmeme 11h On this day nine years ago, Harambe was fatally shot at the Cincinnati Zoo. 10:33 AM 5/28/25 6.3M Views 162 7 15K 143K 2.2K
  • 11
    Victoria Thompson, M.S. is relaxing! @VictoriaTheTech I'm sitting in the Delta lounge right now (small flight delay, so I'm just chilling) and two women who are clearly about to go onto a girls trip of some sort are across from me. One just turned to the other and said: "So tell me why you slept with my husband." . 2:58 PM 5/28/25 4.5M Views 24 14.2K 108K 11K ↑
  • 12
    Jenni @hashjenni when u accidentally block an intersection and everyone is staring at you 5:20 PM 5/27/25 2.6M Views 114 17 7.4K 102K ☐ 2.1K ↑
  • 13
    @ppyowna when a girl says "5 mins" think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter and both teams have all their timeouts 7:08 PM 5/27/25 1.1M Views . 55 12.7K 36K 1.5K ↑
  • 14
    Anne Chovy @AnneChovy2 she seems fun 6:08 PM 5/28/25 1.4M Views
  • 15
    marla @starvingmarl so its inside now marla @starvingmarl. 1d I CAME HOME FROM WORK AND THERES A PIG AT MY FRONT DOOR??
  • 16
    pluuno @pluuuno getting accused of using Al when you didn't is like this century's version of a witch allegation 3:24 PM 5/27/25 3.3M Views 218 1 38K 278K ☐ 7.4K 1
  • 17
    @sonohoor not to be dramatic but when i accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life 7:36 AM 5/27/25 1.8M Views 68 tz 11K 114K 1.6K 企
  • 18
    Philotes @GranblueEmpty One of the Concord devs donated their commemorative launch plaque to Goodwill and I can't stop laughing about it concord concord BPSS 4 44 Chelsea Grace Founding Freegunner, Northstar Crew Worldwide Concord La Laureh August 23, 2824 10:25 AM 5/28/25 2.4M Views 498 1 5.7K SHOPGOODWILL.COM 84K 7.7K ↑
  • 19
    Alex Press @alexnpress returning my cat because he's too long WALMART noqu uozemy FESM CAPITAL Death On The SO AMANA ROAT 8:57 PM 5/27/25 684K Views 137 [ 1.4K 50K ☐ 1.2K ↑
  • 20
    Kyle @KylePlantEmoji Saw a teenager walking home in a karate outfit, which is fine, but he was a white belt. Arguably the most muggable outfit in existence. With any other clothes, your level of martial arts knowledge is at least ambiguous 1:32 PM 6/1/25 600K Views • 24 1 1.4K 40K 1.1K ↑
  • 21
    Striderscribe ALT @StriderHQ ill never forget the first time i hooked up with this man he asked me to get on top and i said "are you sure? im a little heavy" (he was maybe 110 lbs), and he only replied "i know what im about" 1:34 PM 5/30/25.9.8M Views 463 17.9K 325K ☐ 24K 企
  • 22
    LB @lnbshr Trader joe's gets on my nerves bc why can't I find sesame seeds or shallots but u wanna sell BI d orange kimchi lavender granola bars like Okay. 3:01 PM 5/30/25 3M Views 166 1 6.9K 111K 2.5K 企
  • 23
    Charco (summer arc) → @CharcoOnchain one of the largest aura gains i've witnessed in a single dinner; - bro showed up late - made excuse about having already been to 2 other dinners - dominated the conversation, everyone laughing - ate nothing - left early - closed the tab Last edited 12:07 AM 5/29/25 4.9M Views 259 12.4K 137K 10K ↑
  • 24
    BOOP @Pettyyyboop I like to throw soy sauce at sad people. Kikkoman while he's down. . 11:34 AM 5/30/25 2M Views • 134 1Z 7K 78K ☐ 3.7K ↑
  • 25
    Microsoft Edge @MicrosoftEdge i Only UsE yOu To DoWnLoAd ChRoMe 1:00 PM 5/30/25 13M Views 11K 17 29K 244K ☐ 10K
  • 26
    PARE STO Zaza Man @Zazamyodor Cmon man The PONY "America's Strip Joint NOW HIRING CLASS OF 2025 . 4:17 PM 5/30/25 4.4M Views 824 17 3.4K 88K 3.9K ↑
  • 27
    ace @acecelluloid Why does AMC need so many commercials for their own theater right before a movie starts, you ☐ convinced me!! I'm here!! 1:06 PM 5/29/25.764K Views 89 1.9K 43K 752 企
  • 28
    Eugene @eugeneh84 My limited knowledge of French people is that they love smoking tabs and they love rioting, so this isn't going to end well. BRICS BRICS News NEWS JUST IN: @BRICSinfo⚫1d France to ban smoking outdoors at most places, including beaches, parks, and near schools. 4:27 AM 5/30/25.5.1M Views 181 1 9.7K 168K ☐ 2.4K ↑
  • 29
    Sam @bbladdict any day now... Pig › Lifespan > 15 - 20 years Pop Base @PopBase. 1d Peppa Pig turns 21. 87 108 e Ver 1/ 23 SP
  • 30
    Platini @platini954 I understand why they alerted the town that the British were coming. Sports Scran @SportScran. 1d Cheesey chips at @Hadleigh United £2
  • 31
    ZACH REINERT TRAINS TRAINS TRAINS NOW zach reinert @zachreinert At music or the other thing HIP HOP HUB Hip Hop Hub @choice_rap. 1d Drake's next album 'ICEMAN' will solidify the fact that he is better than Michael Jackson 1:50 PM 5/29/25.7M Views • 359 17 7.5K 170K ☐ 4.6K ↑
  • 32
    Zaza Man @Zazamyodor First time taking a shower at my new btch house.. trust no one • • 9:49 PM 5/29/25 6.5M Views 1K 17 9.2K 111K 5.9K 企
  • 33
    i like food @messedupfoods we all need a reliable homie like tony Everybody flaked, so I brought Tony 3:04 PM 5/30/25 2.1M Views 87 17 2.7K 50K 1.7K ↑
  • 34
    gabe⭑ @allgarbled "Lmao" has survived, and even thrived, over the years, but its cousin "rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate. 2:33 AM 6/2/25 4.8M Views 921 18K 233K 6.6K 企
  • 35
    :( @itsoverkitten Did it make you feel powerful when you didn't let me merge on the highway? 3:02 PM 5/31/25 5.5M Views 911 1 28K 246K ☐ 5.7K ↑
  • 36
    Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot and the air conditioning went out. 10:38 PM 5/29/25 -5.7M Views 339 12K 263K 7.8K 企
  • 37
    (emma) @emmanationxoxo I guess I should have known black bird with red wing All Images Videos Forums Short videos Red-winged blackbirds Bird Overview Characteristics Sounds Lower c the birds of abaco 8:35 PM 5/29/25 1.3M Views
  • 38
    bro jay @yajwokeup Full court 7:56 PM 6/1/25 4.1M Views 258 17 4.6K 98K ☐ 4.2K 企
  • 39
    just matt @questionableway just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight too 9:49 PM 6/1/25 815K Views • • 134 17771 39K ☐ 624
  • 40
    B. @buhlesrevenge going through life with a signature i made in grade 7 2:19 PM 6/1/25 2.3M Views . 260 1 22K 129K ☐ 2.9K ↑
  • 41
    ryan @Ryan Rutherchevy People from the middle of the US are insane. They think everything is driving distance. O Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee ⚫2d Fun having an NBA Finals where driving to each city for the games is a legitimate possibility. IOWA Chicago BRASKA Omaha 11 hr 55 min Tolls → ILLING S INDIANA 10 hr 58 min City Cincinnatio KANSAS Tolls St. Louis URI Joplin 12 hr 1 min Tolls KY ort Worth Dallas Ο O TENNESSEE Memphis ARKANSAS 9:13 AM 6/2/25 2.5M Views 539 [ 1.1K Atl MISSISSIPPI ALAB

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